Responding to diet talk

Period recovery can feel like a long and lonely process. Everyone, especially women, are taught to bond through diet talk. It’s the one thing that seemingly all people have in common: the desire to be fit, thin, “attractive”, “healthy”, lose weight, you name it! It seems like every conversation turns into talking about food, dieting or working out…

Have you ever walked into a room and heard someone say…

“Ugh I’m so hungry but I can’t eat yet! Intermittent fasting is killing me!”

“I’m shedding for the wedding! Just 5 more lbs to go until I can fit into my dress. I bought it a size down for motivation!”

“Ugh, I am so bad for eating this.”

“I started doing keto? I’ve lost 5 lbs this week already.”

“Crossfit is great because it's a good workout AND I have abs now!”

...you get the picture! We’ve all been there. Diet talk is everywhere and it’s HARD to distance ourselves from it.  

However, when you’re on the journey towards food freedom, body acceptance, and period recovery, rejecting diet talk is so important. It can feel really lonely to be the only one in the room not bonding over your workout routine, the “bad” food you ate or recent weight loss. Here are some tried and true ways to respond to, or avoid diet talk wherever you may be:

Step 1: Have compassion.

You’ve been awakened to the evils of diet culture. You KNOW that diets don’t work, that diet culture is a multi-billion dollar industry looking to profit off of our insecurities, that those cupcakes do indeed taste better than “being fit feels”... but, not everyone is there yet. Remember that folks who are still participating in diet culture may need some compassion and patience, because it’s possible that they’re really struggling with food and body image, too! Plus, they may not know that you’re on a period recovery journey, so it’s possible that they just don’t know that you need some support. 

Step 2: Allow yourself to feel angry/sad/annoyed/”over it”

It can be exhausting to be the only one who doesn’t want to talk about the latest diet or fitness trend. When a family member points out that your body has changed, that’s disrespectful and upsetting.  When Lisa from the yoga studio talks about her juice cleanse for the 5th time today, you’ll probably want to roll your eyes and walk away. It’s really frustrating to know that healing your relationship with food and exercise is the only way to recover from HA, while listening to everyone around you talk about diets and weight loss. Allow yourself to feel those feelings. They are valid!

Step 3: Decide how you want to respond (or if you want to respond at all)

In some situations, it may feel totally awkward to respond to someone’s diet talk. That’s okay! If you don’t feel comfortable, you can simply walk away or change the subject. Say something like…

“Anyways, what are your plans for the weekend?”

“I know it’s hard. I’d love to hear more about your [family member, pet, new job, etc]”

...or simply excuse yourself from the conversation.

On the other hand, sometimes it feels like you need or want to say something to the person who has made comments about weight, bodies, food, or diet talk. Speaking up can feel really empowering, and can be helpful for your recovery process! Here are a few examples of what you can say:

At the dinner table:

“I’m more focused on how delicious this food is. What a waste to worry about gaining weight right now!”

“Our bodies know what to do with this food. Just enjoy it”

“Please do not comment on my body while I’m eating. Let’s just talk about something else!”

“Well, I used to be on that diet. I ended up losing my period because my body wasn’t getting enough fuel. It was actually really bad for my health- my hormones were out of whack and my bones got weaker. So I’m glad to be eating XYZ food now!”

“I don’t think it’s fair to talk about someone’s body when they’re not here.”

“I’m just trying to enjoy our time together. Spending time with you all is more important to me than your weight or diet.”

“I’m eating these foods to improve my own health. My dietitian and I have worked together to figure out what is best for my body.”

“I’m working on healing my relationship with food. My body has told me in a variety of ways that I didn’t used to eat enough, so please let me enjoy my XYZ in peace.”

At the office:

“Oh, I don’t love talking about diets, but I’m glad you found something that works for you.”

“I’d love to catch up with you at lunch, but I want you to know that I’m trying to feel better about my body right now. It would be so great if we could talk about something other than weight loss”

“Let’s not go there, it’s not fair to talk about [coworker’s] body and food when they’re not here”

“I’m not sure why you all are so worried about your diets. There’s so many more important things to think about!”

“I used to diet and exercise incessantly, my friends always joked that I spent all my free time in the gym! I used to think that was a compliment, but when I look back, I realize how much I missed out on. I’m much happier now that I have found more balance”

With family:

“Please don’t make comments about my body. There are so many more important things about me! Want to hear about [exciting new thing in your life]”

“Oh, I know you love your new diet. I’m glad it works for you but I’d love to chat about something else”

“Haven’t you tried that diet before, and you ended up right back where you started? Why not just enjoy the meal with us?”

“I used to diet, until I lost my period and wasn’t able to have kids. I had to give up dieting if I wanted a family.”

It can be helpful to head into new situations with a game plan of how to respond if diet & body talk come up. Some women may feel comfortable discussing their HA recovery, while others may be inclined to keep their personal details more private. You aren’t responsible for ending diet culture or healing other people’s relationships with food and their body, so whichever methodology you choose is totally valid. 

Standing up to diet culture is a revolutionary act, so remember that you may be met with some resistance or confusion. Know that your boundaries and recovery journey are the most important factors, and you should always do what is best for you in each moment. 

If you feel like you need more support navigating these conversations, I’m here to help! My group coaching programs offer built-in friendships with women who get it. Reach out today to see if you might be a good fit!

x

Cynthia